Postpartum's Gaping Black Hole

I had no idea what was happening to me. I only knew that the worst thing in the world was to be conscious.                              by Denise Blumberg 

My first struggle with Postpartum Depression occurred when I was still living in the United States, with my husband and three kids. I was 33 years old, and had for the previous six years been working on my Ph.D. A mere two weeks after submitting the final draft of my thesis, I gave birth to a healthy, eight-pound baby girl. She was born at home, by choice, and I was surrounded by friends and care-givers.

The period immediately following her birth was exhilarating. My Ph.D. came through during Sukkot, which added to an already festive Yom Tov. Life was normal and happy. I was busy with the kids, tending to my family's needs, the house, going back to aerobics classes – all the normal functions of daily living.

Delivery from Darkness : Bringing postpartum depression out of the closet.

Bringing postpartum depression out of the closet.    

by Rabbi Baruch and Michal Finkelstein

Excerpted from Delivery from Darkness, A Jewish guide to prevention and treatment of postpartum depression.

"I Was Being Buried Alive," the author's personal account

I was irritable; I cried; I was exhausted, yet had trouble sleeping. Getting through each day seemed nearly impossible. My own children avoided me; my husband tiptoed around me. I was convinced that my family and the world would be better off without me.

Although I was a certified nurse midwife at that time, my lack of experience and understanding of postpartum depression (PPD) matched that of the average layperson and, unfortunately, most medical professionals. PPD was something that happened to "other" women who already had psychological problems.

Climbing Jacob’s Ladder

“He had a dream in which he saw a stairway resting on the earth, with its top reaching to heaven, and the angels of God were ascending and descending on it.” — Genesis 28:12

The Torah portion for this week, Vayetze, is from Genesis 28:10–32:3 and Hosea 12:13–14:10.

The Jewish Sages teach that when Jacob was on his journey to the city of Harran, he ended up somewhere that he had not intended to go. But it was late, and so Jacob found a few stones, made a pillow, and went to sleep. As providence would have it, the place There, he had his famous dream in which Jacob saw a vision of a ladder resting on earth, stretching up to heaven. Angels were going up and down on it. When Jacob woke up he said, “Surely the LORD is in this place, and I was not aware of it” (Genesis 28:16). Jacob had unintentionally, but providentially, stumbled upon a virtual stairway to heaven.

MORE TO FOLLOW . . . grace upon grace . . . .

At the end of the day, a weary child is cradled comfortably at the lap of his loving father.  The thrills and cares of the day spin off from his mind as he fights his heavy eyelids.  He runs his tender fingers at the face of his father, gathers himself together and draws his lips closer to his father’s right ear.  

    Then he smiles as he whispers almost inaudibly, his hands feeling the sturdy arms and shoulders of his father.  The father smiles and nods repeatedly, responding with that usual reassuring voice.  

    The child’s voice faded into silence as he drifts off to a peaceful sleep. He had his fill of today’s delights – but he has his cares and desires for tomorrow.  His sleep is undisturbed as he had confided everything in his heart to his father.